Finding your perfect Venue

For me and my husband the perfect venue can be the first one you visit. Unfortunately for a lot of couples the options are so endless that it can be a little overwhelming. 

When I was preparing to visit venues I did my research online. Most venues have extensive information about their facilities online and researching your favorite venues online will cut down your physical searching time for sure. 

There are many types of brides out there, but for me I am the "over-organized" bride. I had documents and paperwork for even the smallest thing. I thought, you can only do this once so do it right! The more I researched the venues, and watched wedding shows online, the more I realized that some of my questions haven't been answered. And boy did I have questions!
SO, I prepared myself two venue checklist documents. 
I'm going to share these documents with you in hopes that they may help you to ease your questions for the venues, and possibly give you questions you didn't even think were necessary to ask! I'm also going to explain more in detail, why I decided to create these files for myself, and how they helped me to create my wedding. 

I created two versions of each file in case one doesn't work. (I have the old 2002 Microsoft Word, so I don't know if that matters)

Free Downloadable Wedding Venue Checklist

Venue Checklist #1 (word doc)
Venue Checklist #1 (PDF adobe reader)

Venue Checklist #2 (word doc)
Venue Checklist #2 (PDF adobe reader)
These documents are for personal use only. All rights to these documents are property of Sandra Carpenter, any unauthorized posting of these documents is illegal. Link back to this site if you wish to blog about this post or the free checklists.


If anyone uses these documents to go "venue shopping" please leave a comment or link your blog post about your experiences with these checklists. I'd love to hear about it. 


Elaborate explanation of the venue checklists:

1.
The first checklist deals with what's included in the venue and what you'll need to supply yourself.

It's surprising how different each venue, and package within a venue is when it comes to what's included. Some venues had packages that included a bride & groom suite, centerpieces, chair covers, candles, floral arrangements and even a D.J. For someone like me, these extra inclusions can be very helpful in completing your wedding dream. Knowing the items or services that are not provided can also help you plan further in what you will need to purchase yourself. For example, in our venue there was no dance floor when I arrived for the viewing. After asking about it, they told me it was included and that it was a snap together floor that is only put out when there is a wedding. 

2.
The second checklist deals with the handling of one specific venue in more detail. 

When I realized how many extra fees were to be included after you buy a package or even just a hall I was stunned. I wanted to make sure I knew where and what every single penny was going to and what it covered. For example, the damage and deposit fee. A deposit on a venue is mandatory and also one of the scariest deposits you can make. I asked the venue, "If you go up in flames before my wedding, and you are burnt to the ground what happens?" Can you believe that I wouldn't get my deposit back? Furthermore I would be out of a venue entirely. Of course, that was the very worst of 'what if's' and they did give me information on insurance from a different source. I was going to be my own D.J. But did you know there are still fees you need to pay for that? 

I wanted to have a lot of little extras in my wedding, but many venues have restrictions on many items! All the indoor venues in my city refused to allow confetti, silly string or rice. 
So the second checklist handles the little items that need to be addressed. 



These checklists are just guidelines on areas I found to be important to me. If you plan on using them, go over them before arriving so you know which items apply to your venue. 

Wedding Jewelry and Bouquets

A really fun part of the wedding is choosing the wedding jewelry and accessories.Will your bridesmaids be matching, or are you choosing jewelry based on their personalities? Will the jewelry you wear represent you?

Finding the perfect dress

If you are anything like I was when I was about to be married, you are marathoning shows like "Say yes to the dress" or "Bridezillas". Well guess what? The obsession usually doesn't go away after the wedding. Yup, I'm still in love with wedding shows. Watching other people fail on "Bridezillas" allowed me to see other people's mistakes first hand so I could avoid them. 

So here are some tips I have for you on finding your perfect dress.

First off, give yourself time. Dresses can be taken in if you are dieting. Leaving your dress to the last minute can be deadly (hair falling out stressful!) Give at least 1 month for alterations. That includes taking it in, letting in out, hemming, extra beading.  Is it vintage? Used? Well give yourself at least another 3 weeks for cleaning once the alterations have been done! I left my dress almost last minute, I definitely didn't realize how much effort had to be placed into a wedding dress. 

Second thing, if you are going to bring people to your dress fitting make sure they want to come! Forcing someone, begging them or dragging them along will only result in them becoming annoyed and rushing you into a decision. Personally watching someone change in and out of a wedding dress for me is frightfully exciting! But not everyone thinks this way. 

Third, when shopping for your wedding dress it's best to have an appointment. Not only will the sales ladies give you more attention, but some places may not even allow you to shop. DO NOT wear makeup to choose your wedding dress or to a fitting. Cleaning a wedding dress can cost upwards of $200, do you really have this in your budget? It's best to wear your hair down. Your hair, no matter what you do will be tousled and ruined! So getting an updo in your gown before the fitting, not such a good idea! Listen, makeup and hair updos look the same in the dress as they do out of it! If you need to see the whole ensemble, try cropping pictures. 

Fourth, DO NOT let anyone pressure you or rush you. If that sales woman wants to make a sale, she will work with you till you are satisfied. If your bridesmaid, best friend or mother are getting bored, let them leave! The only opinion that matters is your own! Do I feel good in this dress. The sales lady is NOT someone to ask if you look good in that dress! She is trying to sell you on anything she possibly can, this is her job!

Fifth, bring a camera. It's always a good idea to take a picture in every single gown you try on, good or bad. Not only are they fun to look at after the wedding, but it's a good guide on what you are looking for. Sometimes looking in the mirror just doesn't capture exactly what you look like to others. If you think that large bow on your butt looks cute in the mirror, look at it again in a picture!

Six, remember this isn't the only dress shop. Go to many dress shops cause you may never know what you might find. 

Seven, know what you want. You don't have to know exactly what you want, but know key things. For example, I knew I wanted a princess dress. Crazy big and crazy extravagant. I thought, hey this'll be the only time I get to be a princess, milk it! I also knew I wanted a heart shaped bust and a corset back. 

Eight, wear a GOOD bra. If you are wanting to have a strapless gown, wear a strapless bra! If you want a backless gown get the boob tape! That perfect bra can help shape your whole upper body in the dress. Also, just for less embarrassment and better hygiene wear good panties. NOT thongs or g-strings. 

Last but definitely most important, stick to your budget! When I went shopping for my dress, I told the sales woman my highest point was $1000. The first dress she put me in I turned around to grab the tag and saw that it was $1500! I was angry! Don't let the sales woman pick out dresses that are over your budget cause if you can't afford it, but love it, you will regret it in the end. Remember this budget is only for the dress, there are many alteration fees and cleaning fees that come after choosing a dress. 

Here's my journey:

Not right at all!

A little sparkly and poof.

My cousin wanted me to have this one,  but I didn't want mermaid.

This was my choice. It was ruffly, princessy and had the heart cut top I wanted, just wasn't sparkly enough.

Sparkly belt sash.

I was very close to buying this dress. It was $1100, $100 over my budget and the sparkle belt was $150! My step mom, cousins and aunt told me they didn't see the spark in my eyes and that I shouldn't settle. So they took me to another bridal shop they had seen down the road. (I did not have an appointment for this shop). My aunt is very good with her words, so after some convincing she got the sales women to allow me to shop and dress myself.
This was the first dress I put on:

Shiny and sparkly!

Gorgeoud back sparkles.

This dress was already lower priced than all of the other ones in the first bridal shop we went to. 

"Wait! Look at this one, this is pretty." my aunt said.

Most of the dresses were not in my size so I was pretty sure the one she would show me was going to be too small. I looked at it and loved it immediately. It was my size! 

I felt like I was wearing "Belle's" dress from Beauty and the Beast. It had the perfect amount of sparkles, ruffles, body and shine. 

It didn't have the corset back, which I could live without! And it didn't have the heart shaped bust line. I got the dress altered with a heart shaped bust line and hemmed for $75. The dress of my dreams, at a place I never intended on going cost only $600! :)  

Choosing the Bridesmaids and Groomsmen

"Quality is more important than quantity." Steve Jobs

A fatal error most bride's do is think that more is better. 

• It looks beautiful to have a handful of bridesmaids. 
• It's more cohesive if there are the same amount of groomsmen as there are bridesmaids. 
• The more groomsmen and bridesmaids there are the more help I will receive.
• They'll hate me if I don't ask them.

All of these points are false, but many women stand by them and carry them out. Having one close friend who would give the world for you to be happy is far better than to have five bridesmaid that could care less. 

Remember, this is your wedding day. Do you really want to play babysitter to bridesmaids and groomsmen who don't have your husbands' and your best thoughts in mind?

Although in most cases it's an honor to be asked to be a bridesmaid, groomsmen, best man or maid of honor, sometimes it can be more than the person bargained for. 

Choosing people who love you and stand by you is ultimately all you need. 

Beginning your Wedding Journey

The First Steps

Once you begin your journey to getting married (and everyone who has done it knows this) it becomes a chaotic mess of ideas scrambled about and you really have no idea where to start. Well, there is no "best" answer for this. I began with a theme. However that's due to the fact that I knew I wanted a Christmas themed wedding. A wedding doesn't really even need a theme. It can be as organized or unorganized as you want it to be. But, it hopefully will be the last one you have so make it count!

I'm an organized person, so I used a book to organize my thoughts, ideas, people, invites, seating. Everything you need. I used the internet to browse through ideas as well, but unfortunately had no idea about Pinterest. Most likely I would have had nothing done were I to know about it then. 

KNOW YOUR BUDGET

Give yourself a budget you know you can afford and stick to it. Most people will spend WAY more than they first assumed they would, so keep that in mind. 
Personally I am frugal, love sales and can't justify spending much money. So I decided to budget myself and do as much as I could on my own. 

GIVE YOURSELF TIME!

A lot of women who create their own wedding don't give themselves enough time to plan and complete all the high hopes and dreams they set out for themselves. 
I was one of them. I gave myself 1 year. As a housewife, you would assume that truly would be enough time to finish the process, and although it was a beautiful wedding, in my heart I know I would've liked to do so much more. 

ORGANIZE

Choose the things in the wedding you need to accomplish, then choose what you'd "like" to accomplish but don't need. After all that, choose what YOU want to do and what you will have others do for you. 
As a frugal bride, I wanted to do most of the things for myself. Decor, Bouquets, Jewelry etc. But the more I thought of the things I needed, the more the list grew.